


Love Me Lights Out

by writingonpostcards



Series: Tumblr Ficlets - Check, Please! [10]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Comfort, Communication, M/M, Sex, getting comfortable with sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 19:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12637632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingonpostcards/pseuds/writingonpostcards
Summary: Bitty knows he’s being silly. He trusts Jack, and he likes him a lot, so why is this all just… embarrassing for him?





	Love Me Lights Out

“Bits?” Jack asks softly. “Hey, look at me.”

Bitty shakes his head. He can’t right now.

“What going on?” Jack rubs a hand up and down Bitty’s back. It’s so comforting, and Bitty knows he’s being silly. He trusts Jack, and he likes him a lot, so why is this all just… embarrassing for him?

Bitty shakes off Jack’s arm and leaves the bed, crossing over to the closed door of Jack’s room so he can switch the light off.

In the darkness, it seems less scary. He takes a steadying breath and moves back to the bed, sitting next to Jack and reaching a hand up to his jaw. Bitty kisses him and sighs out. That’s better.

Jack kisses back, maybe not as eager as before Bitty got up, but not passive enough to make Bitty want to stop. In fact, emboldened somewhat by the cloak of shadow, Bitty moves up onto his knees and straddles Jack.

Jack lifts his hands easily to Bitty’s back, slipping them up inside his shirt. Bitty loves it. Feeling the warmth and the pressure and the size of Jack’s hands against his bare skin. It’s electrifying, and he’s still not used to how quickly just having skin on skin can get him worked up.

Jack starts kissing down Bitty’s neck, licking at his jaw, and one hand travels down to Bitty’s ass before pulling him closer, and down on top of Jack as he lies backwards on his bed.

Bitty catches himself with his hands either side of Jack’s head and he looks down, trying to pick out Jack in the darkness. The outline of his forehead and sparkling where his eyes are is all Bitty can see, his eyes still adjusting to the lack of light. He feels his way with hands down Jack’s chest, over his abdomen and to the hem of his shirt. He plays with it for a moment, hesitant to put his hands under, even though Jack’s told him a dozen times it’s alright, that he likes it.

Jack’s getting good at reading Bitty in these moments, because a second later he’s taking over, pulling his own shirt off and throwing it god knows where. Bitty can’t see. Then his hands find Bitty’s shirt and he waits for Bitty to whisper ‘yes’ before he takes Bitty’s off too.

It’s not the first time he’s been shirtless with Jack, but it still feels new. Bitty breathes and reminds himself that if he can’t see Jack that clearly, Jack can’t see him.

Jack leans up and kisses Bitty and he gets distracted. He lets himself go with his feelings and in this second he just _wants_. More, more, more. Just the same meeting of lips over and over. The same press of Jack’s hands into the hot skin on his back and sides. The same warm air on his neck, ears, collarbones. The same little moan when Jack’s tongue touches his.

Bitty collapses on top of Jack, feeling the dampness of sweat between them and not minding at all. He threads his fingers through Jack’s hair and keeps on kissing like that’s the end game, because it is.

But it’s not. And the more times they do this, the more Bitty is aware that it isn’t, and the more he worries, and he knows Jack would never pressure him because he never has, and Jack’s told him explicitly that he won’t and-

“Bits?” Jack brings his hands up to rest at the top of Bitty’s back.

Bitty sighs out. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

Jack brushes hair off Bitty’s forehead. “What about?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Bitty kisses Jack again, trying to distract both Jack and himself.

“Bitty,” Jack says, with a firmer tone.

Bitty sighs and sits up, straddling Jack’s torso. He presses his palms flat to Jack’s heated skin and spreads his fingers out before bringing them back together.

He was getting lost in his thoughts. Silly. Overthinking it all again. It’s so annoying to him that he has to go hot and cold on his emotions every other time he and Jack do this.

Jack halts Bitty’s hands by putting his own on top. “You can tell me if you’re not in the mood anymore. That’s fine. It’s okay.”

Jack’s so earnest, and so lovely about it. Bitty adores him for it.

“I’m not _not_ interested, I just-” Bitty chokes. He tugs his hands and Jack lets go. Bitty starts up again, moving his fingers in swirls on Jack’s chest. It’s soothing.

He doesn’t know what he is. Nervous, mostly. Still turned on, though. He thought if he just pushed through, it would be fine. Encouraged one part of his emotional response by ignoring the other. And he wants Jack to feel good, so if he can do that even if he’s still worrying and caught in his head, that’s okay, isn’t it? Relationships are about compromise; give and take. Bitty could just… give.

Besides, it’s true what he told Jack just now. He _does_ want this with Jack. To make him come, to let Jack make him come. It’s just so new, and so it’s overwhelming, and there are times when he does want to just kiss and nothing else. But sometimes, sometimes…

God, he just wants to rile Jack up. He wants to bite into his goddam torso, and grab onto his ass, and lick a strip right up the centre of his chest to taste him, and grind himself in the groove of Jack’s hipbone and and and

He feels all this urgent need and desire and then he can see it in his mind’s eye, a fumbling blond boy with no experience, and he worries that he won’t be enough for Jack. That he’s going to make a fool of himself, chasing some relief that’s too, too…

Juvenile. Too quick. Not sexy enough.

Bitty knows Jack finds him attractive, and Bitty has confidence in his own body. He plays hockey, he works out, he knows that stuff makes a difference. It’s just, take all of that and put it into the bedroom, with the lights on and clothes off and with Jack, older and more experienced, leading the way… Bitty worries.

Jack guides Bitty off of him, and urges him into lying out on the bed beside him.

“Can I turn the lamp on?” Jack asks.

“Just wait a second.” Bitty gets underneath the sheets and pull them up over his chest. “Okay.”

Jack turns the bedside light on and Bitty closes his eyes, not wanting to see whatever is in Jack’s expression. 

He can’t feel Jack move toward him and when his lips press against Bitty’s forehead he opens his eyes in shock.

Jack’s staring right at him, his gorgeous blue eyes calm, his gaze steady.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Bitty looks down at his fingers curled into Jack’s sheet. It shouldn’t be this hard to just speak to Jack. He does it all the time.

Jack waits him out, kissing him on the forehead occasionally while Bitty has a long conversation with himself, half gentle encouragement, and half otherwise. 

“Nervous,” he whispers eventually, after the fourth time Jack’s kissed him on the forehead.

“Okay,” Jack accepts. “I get nervous too.”

“Really?” Bitty looks up again and Jack nods at him.

“Of course, Bits. Of course.” Jack smooths his fingers over Bitty’s worried forehead. “I want to make everything good for you.”

“You do, Jack.” Bitty grabs Jack’s hand to kiss, then keeps it in his own. He runs his fingers up and down Jack’s, bends the digits and straightens them out again.

It helps a lot to know that Bitty isn’t the only one who worries about sex. Knowing that Jack gets nervous too, it makes the whole thing less of a big deal, or at least, it does tonight, right at this moment. Bitty nestles a little further into the pillow.

“I worry that I won’t be… you know.” Bitty shies away from saying the word.

“Be what?” Jack asks.

Bitty shrugs and flattens out Jack’s hand so he can press his own to it, see how much longer Jack’s fingers are. He keeps his eyes focused there as he mumbles, “Sexy.”

He can see Jack frown from the corner of his eye.

“I promise,” Jack states, moving the hand Bitty’s holding so he can push Bitty’s chin up until Bitty’s forced to look at him. “I will find anything you do sexy.”

Bitty bites his lip and waits for Jack to add a ‘but’ or an ‘except’. It doesn’t come.

“Really?” He can’t help but ask.

“Yes.” Jack confirms.

Bitty’s eyes flit back and forth between Jack’s. It’s nice to hear him say it, but it’s harder to suddenly start feeling that way.

“The way you’re biting your lip just now,” Jack taps the lip with a fingertip. “Sexy.” 

Bitty let’s his lip go from between his teeth. He didn’t know he was doing that.

“Those little whimpers you make when I run my hands over you,” Jack goes on with a low voice, trailing a palm down Bitty’s side over the sheet. “So sexy. When you put your hands down the top of my shirt, like you’re trying to get inside it. Incredibly sexy.”

“Jack,” Bitty exhales.

Jack smiles at him, teasing, and Bitty lunges forward to kiss him, hands grabbing his face. Bitty notices now when he whimpers. Jack smiles against his lips, and Bitty feels empowered and giddy.

He pulls back, kissing Jack’s mouth just a few more times as he goes, then his cheek, jaw, ear, nose, mouth again, a few on his neck just because.

“You’re amazing,” he tells Jack honestly.

“So are you,” Jack replies, and Bitty kisses him again.

“You feeling better?” Jack asks when Bitty’s settled down beside him again.

Bitty nods. “I feel-”

He cuts off again, but not from nerves or worry or fear this time. From his brain racing along with his heart. Before Jack even gets a chance to encourage him, Bitty pulls the sheet off them both, and moves back on top of Jack.

“I feel like touching you.”

He grins down at Jack and actually appreciates now the flush on Jack’s skin, from his cheeks down his torso, the wide pupils, the shallow breathing. Bitty thinks to himself, _me, that was me doing that, making Jack this way._

He can feel Jack hard and pressing against his thigh and it’s not uncomfortable. It’s so, so empowering to know that it’s because of him. Bitty did that. Because Jack thinks he’s sexy. Bitty wants to test it out, see just what things he can do that will make Jack hard, the things he can say or wear that will make Jack’s pupils dilate and his hands grab onto Bitty’s skin tight like an anchor.

“Go ahead,” Jack says.

And Bitty does.

His confidence comes and goes. When he can’t see Jack, or he hasn’t heard anything in a while, his brain starts worrying again. But Bitty looks at Jack and takes in his skin all ruddy, or his eyes locked with laser focus on Bitty, or hears a few encouraging words, and Bitty believes to the tips of his fingers he can do what Jack is doing for him. Making everything good. So good.

_**(Coda;** _

His confidence isn’t there every time, and there are some days when he does ask Jack to keep it to kisses, to keep their shirts on. Jack is always, always happy with whatever Bitty wants. As Bitty learns that he can trust Jack on that, it makes it easier to go with his instincts, to initiate things sometimes. Jack always seems happy with that too. 

It goes the other way as well. Occasionally Jack isn’t in the mood, too worked up from hockey, or not quite willing to relinquish his head space to it. Seeing it from the other side, Bitty better appreciates the way Jack has helped him grow more confident with sex, the infinite patience and understanding. He loves him more for it.)

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted to [tumblr](http://17piesinseptember.tumblr.com/post/157502522080/love-me-lights-out)


End file.
